you shouldn’t have to repeatedly tell your significant other how to respect your relationship. if they’re doing you wrong constantly (especially after the problem has already been addressed), they’re purposefully taking advantage of your patience, kindness, and love. this is toxic. they won’t change. they’re doing it intentionally. stop forgiving them. stop letting them walk over you. as much as they may mean to you, you deserve more than that: you deserve someone who will treat you correctly and respectfully
Told one of my friends that I unfriended my homophobic/transphobic uncle on facebook before coming out and they responded with “but how can you open his mind that way?” so just a reminder:
My job is to exist. My job is to be happy. My job is not to educate, I am willing to help you educate yourself, but above all else, it is my job to find peace that I’ve wanted for years. If someone does not make me feel good, why should I have to be a part of their life? I do not have to suffer so that others can grow. A blooming garden is not expected to keep it’s vines and weeds, so why am I?
to run with that metaphor, even if the plants before you (i.e. your parents, relatives, friends, et cetera) didn’t have an issue with the weeds and coexisted with them and was able to live alongside them, that doesn’t mean you have to put up with them to. pluck those weeds. kill those vines. your life is your own and you deserve every happiness, comfort, and peace.
Feminism isn’t about empowering women to take positions men typically have. (I mean, yeah, you can do that, and I encourage you to do that because you’re more than capable of it, but only if that’s what you aspire to do.) It’s not about saying “this is how to be an empowered woman that kicks ass,” it’s about letting women define success and liberation for themselves. It’s not about telling other women what they should do, it’s about telling women they should do what they want to do. It’s letting women do whatever they fuck they want, ensuring that it’s what they want: If you want to be a housewife, be a housewife. If you want to be a sex worker, be a sex worker. If you want to be a politician, be a politician. If you want to be an entrepreneur, be an entrepreneur. But let the decision be your own—one that makes you happy, not one that you’ve been subjected to.
We all find joy and strength and contempt in different positions, so instead of belittling a woman for doing what empowers her personally, offer support since she’s pursuing her passions, achieving her goals, and doing what makes her feel good.